Do you remember the rush of Amazon conferences?
The sound of laughter during networking cocktails as you make your way around the room. The smell of scrambled eggs and coffee as you discuss the latest dropshipping trends with the expert at your round table. The sight of your fellow sellers, heads bent over their notes and laptops, soaking in the info from the speaker at the podium. If you’re stuck at home, you probably have a bad case of #FOMO. How to deal with FOMO? What’s the opposite of FOMO?
Why it’s JOMO — joy of missing out. In this case, here are joy of missing out examples — walking the dog down a nature trail instead of running to the conference hall. Having breakfast with the kids instead of brunch with influencers. Listening to your favorite podcast instead of listening to your alarm clock rudely jolt you awake after a night of margaritas and mojitos!
Bottom line? We get wanting to do all the things. And you will, one day. But right now, focus instead on your health and happiness while you wait for the world to open up.
Here’s how to have an Amazing time At Home while sheltering in place.
What Does JOMO Even Mean?
Let’s start with FOMO first. You probably see the hashtag all over social media, and you probably know the FOMO full form, but on a visceral level, what does FOMO mean? According to verywellmind.com, FOMO refers to the “feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are.”
Think about it. In 2020, Tech Jury reported that the average person spends 2 hours and 24 minutes a day on social media. If you consider statistics on social media and mental health, the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology recommends limiting social media — a study at the University of Pennsylvania showed that limiting social media exposure to 30 minutes a day may lead to incredible improvement in well-being. Read: less FOMO.
So, you get the point. FOMO = bad. When you’re looking at everyone else’s lives through the lens of Insta stories and Facebook live feeds, you’re bound to feel left out. The whole world seems to be having fun, while you’re stuck at home.
Stop these negative thoughts!
Engage instead in the opposite of FOMO – the joy of missing out, or JOMO. In the Art of Self-Restraint in An Age of Excess, Danish philosopher Svend Brinkmann recommends self-restraint and the celebration of moderation. The result of this paradigm shift? “A more fulfilling way of living that enriches ourselves and our fellow humans and protects the planet we all share.”
If that sounds a bit complicated, put it this way — JOMO is all about enjoying the moment, along with the people you’re enjoying each moment with (Psychology Today). Enough of Keeping Up With The Joneses — discover the joys of living life in the slow lane.
Here’s How to JOMO So Hard
FIRST: Listen to Yourself, and Give Space to Your Feelings
Everything you feel is valid. Let every feeling in — every feeling in the spectrum from joy to fear — and resist labeling them as good or bad. Your feelings are trying to tell you something. So invite that emotion in, pour it a cup of tea, and honor the message it provides. This practice is all part of mindfulness and emotional intelligence. By recognizing your emotions, you develop emotional awareness. You learn to accept yourself for who you are — your quirks, your idiosyncrasies, what makes you so wonderfully you. That acceptance leads to greater love and compassion for yourself — and the others around you. (Positive Psychology, 2016)
SECOND: Be Disciplined With Your Social Media Intake
You know how it is. Not everything you see online is real. Don’t believe everything you see on the Internet! One of the big disadvantages of social media is that it creates a skewed self-image, according to Roots of Action. What’s most interesting is that findings in the blog came from high school students — but many adults would agree that they feel the same way. The fact is, social media reports only one side of the story. Sure, you see the bright lights of Vegas and the elaborate networking dinners, but you don’t see the sleepless nights, the missed FaceTime with the kids at bedtime, or how you nearly threw up after lunch because you had to swallow your food in record-time to make it to the next talk. Take all that social media with a grain of salt — sure, those conferences and meet-ups are fun, but remember that they also come with a fair amount of stress. Everything does.
THIRD: Take Care of Yourself! Don’t Downplay Your Importance.
Think about the last time you felt FOMO. Were you paying attention to yourself? Were you listening to your heart, your soul, your mind? Or were you more focused on the fun everyone else was having? A great way to JOMO your FOMO away is to tune in — inwards. Develop a self care routine checklist. Mental Health America recommends living healthily, practicing good hygiene, seeing friends and making new ones, doing something you enjoy every day, and finding ways to relax. So, research on your favorite smoothie. Take a relaxing bath. Host a barbecue. Read a book. Go for a hike. Hug your hubby, kiss the kid, and let the kitty snooze on the laptop. You don’t need it right now (the laptop, not the kitty. We always need kitties.)
FOURTH: Set Boundaries.
How to set boundaries? PsychCentral shares that a person with healthy boundaries shares personal information appropriately (not too much or too little), understands their personal needs and how to achieve them, values their own opinions, and accepts when others say “no.” The “no” in this case is attending the next Seller meetup or buying a plane ticket to fly to the shiniest newest Amazon conference. Ask yourself why you need to be there. Is it for the social aspect? Go host a karaoke night with friends instead. Is it for networking? Join a Facebook group of like-minded individuals — here’s ours, you’re welcome here! Is it for the knowledge? Take a course, listen to a podcast, or attend a virtual event. Again — invite those emotions in, acknowledge them, honor them, and find a way to achieve what your body and soul are asking you for.
FIFTH: Forgive Yourself!
You’ll never completely get rid of FOMO. The Fear of Missing Out is part of the human experience. Every time you feel that old fear rearing its nasty little head, be conscious enough to choose JOMO instead. Joel Garfinkle, Executive Coach, said it best in his LinkedIn article: You can find joy in what you choose not to do.
Now we’re going to turn this over to YOU. How do you find your joy? Where is your joy? What does it look like, sound like, feel like? Share your wisdom — someone might be looking for their joy. You know what they say — joy given, is joy received back, hundredfold. Let’s talk about the best sources for joy over at the Amazing at Home Facebook group. See you there!